i feel satanic.
i feel insane.
i feel shitty.
i feel so fucked up.
i feel like crying.
i feel like dying.
i feel so crappy.
i feel like killing.
i'm turning mad.
i'm sorry but i've turned mad.
i'm mad. i'm mad i'm mad

and sorry. i think at this rate i cant get into RJC.

coz i've been thru many ordeals. and i'm very tired. sick of it too.
so i feel like ending everything.
coz i cant take it anymore.

i dun wanna think about it anymore.
i'm just gonna study till i die of exhaustion.
like in giselle the ballet thingy, they danced till they die of exhaustion.
i need it. only when i'm in a trance i can study non stop without anything pulling me back.
i'll study.
i'll show everyone that i can go RJC.
so watch me and here i come.
i give you my word.
if i dont get into RJC i wont have anymore face.
that time i really dont know what to do or say but i know that i'll feel the worse in my whole entire life.
so that's it.
i'll study and make sure i get into RJC no matter what.
i mean it.

and right now in my mind is studies. aint that great? only like that i can keep myself moving. i need this. i need stress. sorry for scaring you. but please bear with me.

i love you